So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
