You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Found the puke drawer
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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