My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
