In America we eat man semen.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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