those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
