you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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