He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
