I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Randomize
