VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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