How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
