WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
