What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
