her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
