There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
