Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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