i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
