We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
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