Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
