she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
