Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
