I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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