Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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