i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
At least make sure they are 18
Why
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
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