3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
