i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Everything about him screamed your future.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
