matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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