You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
