I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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