i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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