i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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