but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
