I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
