Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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