You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
