Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Just high enough for therapy.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
