I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
