Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
