i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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