Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize