I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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