I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
4 words: hood of his car
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Randomize
