u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
