so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
