The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
