So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
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