worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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