Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
