why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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