I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
