I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
