the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
