But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
