So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
