Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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